well I am almost done with the paper. but I feel secluded from the world. kind of. I've been sitting in my room, writing and studying and reading and writing. and it just doesn't seem to stop. and to top it all, I surfed a couple of those dating-email-whatever sites that I so despise usually. but I was frustrated and wanted to know what's out there. and to be honest, I'm even more frustrated now, because there's nothing. not even remotely interesting girls. nothing. which wouldn't be a problem, probably, if not everyone around me was a happy couple. two of my best friends got engaged last week, which is just scary, others still happily in love after don't-know-how-many years. only I don't seem to be able to make my relationships work. Yes, I will meet someone again, and it will be nice and all lovey dovey, but I've considered the possibility that I don't really want that, not at the moment. because I am pretty busy with my life, everything has changed so much last year, and I am finally doing the things I always always wanted to do. this is what I imagined my life to be like. it's just... even in the future I don't see myself being with anyone on a long-term basis. like it's a decision between flying high or having a functioning relationship. it's either or. this. can't. be. everything.