April 26, 2006

positive thinking

I am catching a glimpse of what chemotherapy must be like. The pills I am taking to get rid of the candida in my stomach are to be taken only once a week, so you can imagine how potent the must be. They're breaking me down completely. I'm tired constantly (as I'm also not getting any sugar for my brain), I have headaches and I'm dizzy and in the evenings I feel completely sick. I sleep horribly and dream all kinds of weird stuff and I'm aggressive and even more impatient than usually. Now I found out I should also avoid carbohydrates as the fungus can produce sugar out of them. Which leaves me with... well, not much to eat basically besides vegetables, goats cheese and meat. All that without bread. So exasperated is my word of the day now. And all that with exams coming up. But I realised that as long as I'm moving I'm halfway fine. But I am not cutting down even more on the food, or my brain will soon have nothing to work with. I'm determined to kill this beast inside me nonetheless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

.....seems to me, you´re not killig, but awaking the beast inside of you :-) but beside, think that exasperated is a good word for medicaments.
Best wishes your worried sentiment