my maladies come in a bowl...

my life does not seem to come with a catastrophe limit. I always get the full blow, just because.

With every time she shows up on a doorstep her charm works a little less. and slowly but steadily her magic is completely lost on me.

days like these get to me, there's only so much I can handle without losing a bit of control. losing control in a bad way. a really bad way. when disconnecting is the tiniest of my problems. when she's there and after all these years still captures me. and it takes so much strength to remember that it is only my past she can capture, the memories she can flash with one half-hearted smile. but she's losing me. I'm finally wriggling out of her steel-cold claw. and while this is a call to arms for my strength and will all the while there's you. and you win me over too. not in her dark ways but with all your gentleness and love. you win me over with your smile, you win me over with your charming sense of humour, you win me over with just the touch of your hand, you win me over with your words, you win me over cause you always sing your truth ...