August 08, 2007

music was my first love

I had a friend once, a really great friend. His name was Benedikt. He'd take my sadness away and bring me relieving tears, he'd open my heart and make me happy again. He was always there for me, although I sometimes renounced him. Benedikt is my bassoon. Unfortunately I gave up playing before graduating in a demanding school and having a boyfriend got in the way.

I was on the way of becoming a professional musician. I don't regret not having done that. I mean, I had serious talent, nothing ever came as easy to me as learning to play. Practicing however wasn't my strong point and as a pro I would've had to spend hours practicing, up to five or six hours a day. And that I didn't want, so I deliberately opted against it. I do however regret that I stopped playing altogether.

I realised that yesterday when I was listening to Jaqueline Du Pre playing Elgar's Cello Concerto. I haven't voluntarily listened to classical music since about five years ago, I left all my classical music CDs with my parents when I moved out. They always made me listened, narrow minded like they are when it comes to music, so I rebelled. But now I actually made an effort to download the cello concerto which I have loved ever since I first heard and saw my crush play it when I was 13 and in music camp (hey, at least I don't play flute!). So last night I slumped onto the new sofa and listened to the concerto. and it was recreational. I, who can never relax, was able to do so finally. I amazingly sank deep into that piece of furniture and let my heart, my ears, my soul be filled with music. I've decided I want to play again. I'm curious if I'll actually go through with it.

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