December 20, 2007

learning to fly

I almost stepped in front of a car when I stepped down from the curb. For a millisecond I saw myself fly over the car's bumper. just for a moment, but I saw it clearly. I was never a cutter, so why is it that when I'm in pain my body asks for it too? maybe as a manifestation of the pain I'm already feeling? fact is I'm not very happy at the moment. I'm just not. and I don't know how I ever will be again. I probably will be better, but I just don't know how.

3 comments:

Shazza said...

Time McC...time. It heals a lot of wounds and soothes a lot of pain. Keep talking, get it out, don't hold it in...that will only make it worse.

{{{McC}}}

Send me an e-mail if you need to vent to someone off the blog. I'm a good listener/reader!

ritu said...

agree with shazza..
talk as much as you can about it..and get it out. trust me i was turning in to an expert of " not being happy" in last few months, it does not help and you know what is the worst part? it is addictive!

ps it is not too bad to retreat a bit into yourself, just don't stay there too long

mcCutcheon said...

thanks, girls. I did just have to vent and am feeling better already. but thank you. so much. it is indeed appreciated :)