June 02, 2008

sleeping: disabled

Again. This time it's really bad. Hard core insomnia. Somehow I managed to get some sleep Saturday night, but last night was horrible again. I was wide awake, in and out of unbearably light sleep, tossing, sweating like a pig and in the morning I felt like I had been run over by a truck while not asleep. Finn has gone to get me some valerian today and although I have been mroe than reluctant to take anything for sleep I might just try this natural remedy.

At least when I had this bad insomnia before I always had someone to stay awake with, online. I chatted for hours to my friend N., or a friend from uni, and also to Finn who had a bout of insomnia too before we became a couple. I spent a lot of time in forums and watching the telly. But that was when I was a full-time student and not very studious I might add, it was before I had to actually get up in the morning and go to work. Back then I just tired myself out online, writing short stories or poetry, watching tv, talking, chatting until I was knackered enough to crash and sleep until whenever I would wake up again. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that anymore. But I'm beginning to consider doing it anyway, minus the sleeping in part. That way I'd at least sleep once I'd finally get to bed.
However I don't want to keep either finn or the bunnies awake. Which would leave the kitchen, the toilet and the bathroom to spend time in. Not ideal, not ideal at all...

The good news is that I'm beginning to work on my future. I want to look for other freelance work - I don't want to keep putting all my eggs in one basket, if you know what I mean. Also I want to begin doing some special interest work and maybe get into doing something "valuable" in this world. Because I don't think giving to the homeless person with the cute dog is good enough. Which I did today btw. Since I earn my own money I believe that if I can go to Starbucks and afford a frappucino I can also give to the homeless guy sitting on the pavement 20 feet away. I try to do that. But it's not going to make me feel much better in the long run, changing the world-wise.

1 comment:

finn said...

honey, tonight you'll sleep like a log and you'll be fresh and relaxed tomorrow morning...

no more grumpy gf :)