January 29, 2009

It's possible that I might be going completely crazy

I'm a sorry, weepy mess.
I don't know why, but I just came home and had a good cry.
Actually... I do know why, but it's embarassing and idiotic and I feel stupid about it.
The thing is.. I'm really bad at being away from Finn. Like, away away. Far away. It's not that I don't appreciate and need time for myself and respect the same thing for Finn. It's that I'm always horribly worried something might happen to her.

So today was the going-away-revelations-day. First, my trip to Cologne in August became a surefire thing - I'll be away for about four days. Then Finn called to tell me she'll be going on a business trip to London about two weeks from now - and we started to make plans for me to go with her so we could extend the trip and spend Valentine's day's weekend there. But then everything fell through because her sister can't look after the bunnies. So I will be staying here while she's on a plane - which I hate. And next week(end) I have to go to Budapest to see my grandma. I love her and want to visit her, but it's always such a drag to get there with all the striking in Hungary. Away again.

Now that I've written this down it doesn't seem like such a big deal. I know it's such co-dependent bullshit but I can't help myself. I guess it's just that everything came all at once today. Just too much. So... I remain reduced to the abovementioned sorry, weepy mess.

6 comments:

LG said...

It's not codependent to miss someone ... just saying. I don't blame you one bit. That sucks!

mccutcheon said...

thank you. feeling slightly less nuts now.

Laura Valerie said...

This state of mental illness is called "love", by the way.

Take care of you both. And the bunnies... if I was in Vienna I could take care of them. Anyways, here is what I can offer: If you are planning on a longer trip one day or the other, you could send them via rail-cargo to my place (or drop by for a visit while handing the animals over). Especially in summer they would really love the garden. I'd take care of the cat not misbehaving.


cu
L.

mccutcheon said...

rail-cargo!? *gasp* I would never do that to them. Bunnies are kind of... delicate. They don't really deal well with change and if they are stressed they get weird about eating. We almost lost Sammy about half a year ago because he stopped eating. So no, no transporting my bunnies. Not anywhere. But thank you very much for offering though, dear L. :)

But speaking of Vienna: When will you finally get your ass up here again, show off the new baby, have a chat with me and let me pay back the coffee from last time, when I forgot to go to the ATM?

Laura said...

Sorry about suggesting rail-cargo. I just thought about putting our cat in a box and doing rail-cargo to her... this is when I realized the not-so-cleverness of this idea. Sometimes I really can't think logically.

I'll inform you about my plans concerning trips to Vienna.

cu

Rebecca said...

I think it's sweet. I WISH I missed someone like that. :)