time to panic

I just found out that my final exam is going to take place on November, 3rd. That's less than 4 weeks from now. I was counting on at least 4 to 5 weeks of studying time. This means I'm going on a 3-week-holiday on monday so I can study. Note to self: ask parents for financial help...

The related-but-good news is that I got an A on my thesis :D

time flies, and soon I will too (to Sweden)

Things have been happening lately and I've been meaning to blog about them, yet somehow... time seems to be the one thing I couldn't make enough of. Other things just seemed bigger and more imprortant to do than bask my ego in a bit of blogging ;) However, now that the dust is settling, I'm ready for a little catching-up.

• work has been a strain - to put it mildly, because one of my co-workers seems intent on showing me just how much of a prick he is. incidentally, by now everyone is suspecting his prick to be rather small, considering how much he has to show off his greatness. You know, people who do amazingly at their job and voice that are one thing. But people who think they're oh so great but arent't, that's a whole different topic. Well, said co-worker is one of the latter sort. He's been doing this job for 30 odd years and while he does an ok job writing articles he has ... erm... flexible working hours and very flexible ethics. He's a racist, homophobic, mysogynist pig - and no one does anything about it. Also, since I had to change rooms two weeks ago and am now sitting in the same room as said co-worker he has been yelling at me rather constantly for no good reason at all. just to show he is my boss - which he isn't, but try pointing that out to him. All this has made me want to walk out of here rather sooner than later.

• Roughly at the same time I have received a job offer of sorts. or rather the offer to apply - the big cheese's son is looking for someone for the press department at the company he works at and mr big cheese thought of me and told me to apply. which is nice of him I guess. They've invited me to interview when I'm back from my holiday. The thing is, I'm not sure I want the job. Yes, I always wanted to work in a press department and it would for sure help with future applications to different press departments, but on the con-side we're talking about a pretty stuffy company that handles really really boring stuff (trust me, really boring). on the other hand the staff seems to be quite young and energetic. also I wasn't looking for a full-time position and 40 hours sounds like an awful lot of time to spend at work - especially since I've been planning to freelance more. That's another con: I probably won't have time to work on the projects I've been developing ideas for. I guess I'll just see what if feels like after the interview.

• So although I haven't been planning to change jobs/direction this soon all these events have ignited a fire under my butt and I have begun to keep my eyes peeled for open positions. In fact I'm going to apply for a trainee position at a major international media company and see how that goes down. at the off chance that I should get that one, I'd have to move but I guess I'd do it without blinking an eye. Of course, family situations would have to be sorted out, I'm not too keen on living without finn and the bunnies... not at all. But hey, I haven't even applied yet. and as much as I want finn to find a really great job that she loves here in vienna I still hope that she might come with me if I'm going somewhere ;)

• I'm going to hand in my thesis this afternoon (deja-vu!) so please, keep your fingers crossed for me. I then should have about 6 weeks to study for my final exam.

• However, next week I'm not going to lift a finger bc as you may know finn and I are heading to Sweden for a week of relaxation, nature, quality-time and lots and lots of sleep. all of which I'm desperately in need of. in the meantime the bunnies will be taken care of well by finn's sister, so no bad feelings there.

There's still so much to do before we leave. Stuff to buy, hair to dye. But that comes tomorrow. Today I'm at work, then I'm handing in my thesis and then I'm drop by at my mum's whom I haven't seen I think in a month at least. She's gone a lot with work and taking care of my grandma and I seem to be working and studying pretty constantly. So I'm actually looking forward to having a chat with her.

Btw: Autumn is here. Me likes.

"Let's take the train to anywhere..."

The second time around I am realising how much BS my thesis is. Seriously! But I don't think there will be time to go over it again. So it'll just have to remain weak to mediocre *shutting off inner perfectionist now*

I thought Missy Higgins' music would get me through working on these stupid citations. And it did fine. But then "Don't Ever" started. And now I feel like I just want to get out of this city into a nice country home and write and make music and be. The verse that did me in?

We'll get a house where the trees hang low and pretty little flowers
On our window sill will grow
We'll make friends with the milk man and the butcher Mr. Timms
Will give us discounts when he can

forgot to mention

but it's definitely worth mentioning:
my thesis-"advisor" has dropped me. He wrote me an email (!!!) Monday evening that he will not further coach me and has already informed my university about this. He gave no specific reasons, only that "I must probably know the reasons". duh?

However, I now have to find a new advisor and my uni isn't helping much. Ghastly bastards.

karma killer?

I pretty much have the following stuck in my head:

And then you had to bring up reincarnation
over a couple of beers the other night
and now I'm serving time for mistakes
made by another in another lifetime
(Indigo Girls - Galileo)

I have no luck. I don't really know what I have done to deserve this, but somehow I always get it.
Turns out they're not budging. Not a bit. So now I have to find other ways, although I'm not very hopeful that they'll work out. If they don't, which is more realistic, I have to correct all of it.
I decided to first see if my other possibilities and strengths work out and give it until, say, July/August and then if I have to meet up with my crappy "advisor", get the corrections done and hand the shit in at the end of September.

And for now I'm putting this whole thing out of my mind as well as possible. Concentrating on work, fun, friends and having a good time.

And for today I'm going all Buffyesque: Me kick sandbag now. Want sandbag. Like sandbag. Sandbag good.

against all odds

please, keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow afternoon. it's confrontation time.

motherfuckers...

I called my uni today and they informed me that my thesis is not up to par. I can not take my oral exam in three weeks. The reasons they presented to me are ridiculous (I know that they're not rightfully failing me), apparently they are not happy with my citations (I strictly kept to the citation method of the American Psychological Association, apparently the folks here in Vienna are not aware that this is a widely recognised international citation method). I spent the first part of today on the phone to figure out a way to fight this. So far no one is behind me, the university unites firmly in support of my thesis advisor who, frankly, was an ass when I talked to him today. As was the department head of my programme, who should actually be helping me in this case.

I know that in the end I'll probably have to change some parts of my thesis in order for them to accept it. I know that I won't be able to take the exam this summer but only in November. I know that I'll have to pay another semester's tuition. They simply have more power than me in this case. I know that. But I am not going down without a fight. I will do my best to make them the most miserable I can. They shall regret having brought this upon themselves, because I shall see to it that they have so much work with this they're not gonna have time to simply take a dump. This is me when I'm angry, this is me when I fight. As Cpt. Picard would say: "Engage".

P.S.: and for now bring on the alcohol, videogames, and a lot of my work (which I suddenly like much more than yesterday) - basically what I need now is sex, drugs & rock'n'roll mixed with a bit of money-making at the paper and a good night's sleep.

somebody save me

this is a fucking nightmare.
It looks like my thesis "advisor" is out to get me/flunk me/screw with my life.
And I feel seriously helpless now.

gaga gaga ga ga :D

I've been up for probably 24 hours now. all changes are done since half past 7 a.m., I called my advisor at quarter past 8 and left a message on his machine asking him to call me back soon, explaining that I'd very much like to get some sleep afterwards. the idiot still hasn't managed to react to either my phone call or my email. He feel he just doesn't WANT to accept that this is all actually doable in 1.5 months. fucker....


by now I have stopped shivering and my headache is dull enough to be ignored. sure, my eyes are kinda sore, but at least now I can think about eating again without my stomach turning. finn went back to sleep at 8 and is still out cold. bless her, she deserves some sleep.

all-(day and)-nighter

my ass-hat of an "advisor" didn't accept my thesis. he said I should take another 1 or 2 weeks to implement his "corrections". they weren't even proper corrections, more like an email of musings. both finn and I got the feeling he didn't even read it.

doesn't the fucker get that I don't actually have "1 to 2 weeks"? At the point when I read his email I have 3 days left. Does he really think I'm gonna miss the deadline by "1 to 2 weeks"??? seriously? Now that he witnessed that I could write that damn thing in 1,5 months total does he really think I'm actually gonna take two weeks to correct it?

By the way: I read the email at like 1 p.m. Since then finn (who has a lot more experience with science writing and is helping me with the corrections) and I have been at it almost non-stop. It's half past four now. A.M. That's more than 14 hours straight. I've finally convinced finn to get some sleep because she has to work tomorrow. Meanwhile I'll try to get on with this. I haven't pulled an all-nighter in ages. Actually I'm not sure I ever have for non-fun reasons. Thank god for proper English tea and milk - totally getting me through this...


c ya later

oh and btw: my thesis wasn't as bad as mr. haven't-read-it-properly thinks. grrrr...

v-day

Dearest most faithful reader,

your are henceforth almost free of my whining about one certain piece of writing for It. Is. Done.

Yours truly,
McC


I handed in my thesis today. 116 pages. That is "pre"-handed it in. Now I have to wait if my thesis advisor accepts it. If he does there'll probably be some cleaning up and fine tuning to do and then I can officially hand it in on April 4th. Keep your fingers crossed for me!


btw. I totally don't know what to do with myself now that I have a chance of having my normal life back. So I let the foodie in me take over and made pasta. Fresh, hand-made pasta. That I'm gonna serve with curry-lemon-fish later. Oh how I missed my kitchen. My tiny, crooked little kitchen :)

... and counting

68 written content pages.
another 40 of appendix.
3 more books to skim.
11 articles to read skim.
1 chapter to write.
1 dentist appointment.
6 days left.

presents presents presents!

I'm beginning to think of ideas of how to reward myself when I finish the thesis (laura gave me the idea that I should when she asked me what I was planning to get for myself). this is one of them, but to be honest it's too fucking expensive. the wii fit package is the other, I was surprised to find out that they already sell it in Europe, thought it would take ages to get here and now we get it earlier than North America (which usually never happens... with anything. and yes, I'm quite bitter about it ;)

all the nice things

not only have I decided to take this evening off from thesis-work - gasp! - I have also decided to take a bath. I am so totally pampering myself today!

buh gluh hurble gnuh

my brain is fried. the horrible thesis is almost done. There's still one chapter missing, but that's not what's bothering me. What's really bothering me are all the tiny little holes in it, I'm pretty sure it reads like swiss cheese. (Although I'm almost sure cheese is non-readable even for spies looking for hidden messages.) So I'm gonna have to fill all those holes and write the missing chapter - a lot of reading up awaits me again. Unfortunately I don't feel in a position where I can actually read the shit I wrote. I usually already have problems re-reading my own articles and they're a maximum of three pages long. And here we're talking 80 pages of my own rubbish! oh yeah, and I have about a week left til the deadline. har har har. gaaaaah! buh gluh hurble gnuh....




I think I should take this evening off anyways.

failure to show entails a negative evaluation

I received my invitation to the diploma examination yesterday. Couldn't get it from the post office (not leaving the house and the thesis these days), so my dad got it for me today (it arrived at the post office near my parent's place bc that's the address I used when I started Uni). I just called him and begged him to open it and tell me what it says.
My classmates have been posting their examination-triumvirates in our forum since yesterday and I've been quite nervous about who my examiners would be. It should be fine though, I'm more than OK with the three that I got.

by the way, the date is May, 27th, 4 p.m.
yay! [insert sarcasm] afternoon exam! plenty of time to be nervous all day ;)

shed that shroud

as you might know by now my thesis work is attemptedly (duh, just let me use that word this once, ok?) eased by iTunes in shuffle mode which in turn brings you, dear faithful reader* the "joy" of reading my musical musings. Shroud is one of my favourite Ani DiFranco songs ever:

"I had to leave the house of conformity / In order to make art
I had to be more or less true / To learn to tell the two apart"

I had to leave the house of self-importance / To doodle my first tattoo
to realize a tattoo is no more permanent / Than I am..."

and for all of you women:
"I had to leave the house of fashion / go forth naked from its doors
'cause women should be allies / and not competitors"


p.s. finn's laptop is broken so she asked me to p.s.-blog that she is sad because she can't blog because her laptop is broken. I have hereby done my girlfriendly duty.

* who will probably stop reading this blog if the thesis-posts don't stop and the more interesting blogpost return. Just bear with me a little, only a couple more weeks left. (And what I mean by "a couple" is only two very short, fleeting weeks.) Then I plan to get all lyrical and literal and thoughtful and fun again. I'm definitely planning to finally do that "I am from"-post some time soon.

*baffled* and *puzzled*

2005, Indiana Court of Appeals:

"The State, first of all, may legitimately create the institution of opposite-sex marriage, and all the benefits accruing to it, in order to encourage male-female couples to procreate within the legitimacy and stability of a state-sanctioned relationship and to discourage unplanned, out-of wedlock births resulting from “casual” intercourse. Second, even where an opposite-sex couple enters into a marriage with no intention of having children, “accidents” do happen, or persons often change their minds about wanting to have children. The institution of marriage not only encourages opposite-sex couples to form a relatively stable environment for the “natural” procreation of children in the first place, but it also encourages them to stay together and raise a child or children together if there is a “change in plans.”"

The logic of this still eludes me...

- plop plop -

my ears keep popping and it is driving me nuts. and because my ears being weird is usually the sign for a cold sneaking up on me* I already popped masses of echinacea, kalium phosphoricum and ascorbic acid. I took an aspirin last night and I'm going to buy lots of fruit today after my interview (which - by the way - is my last interview, so "all" I will have left to do is the writing part). NOW is NOT the time to get sick. NOW's the time to stay healthy for just another three weeks. after that: come what may, I plan to be either drinking or sleeping for three consecutive days anyways. on second thought, the bore I am I'll probably just start going to work again without taking a couple of days off ;)

thesis writing soundtrack: carrie underwood, kelly clarkson, dixie chicks, rachael yamagata (weird combo, eh?)




*speaking of cold: it kinda snowed about an hour ago... WTF? it's been spring these last days and suddenly there's snow? exactly on that one day that I'm leaving the house again for once? duh.

50 pages

... and Mr. Luhman can almost kiss my ass.